The Waiting is the Hardest Part

April 24, 2020

I thought this lyric by Tom Petty would be a good way to start this week’s blog post after a week off.  I went back and looked through my posts from the last few weeks since I have covered a lot of ground on the state of affairs in our country and how rapidly things have changed in the last month.  In my first post on this topic, I wrote that we are going to have to be patient as we work through this uncertain time and that in our environment of instant information and gratification, being patient has become difficult.  There are days when I worry we will never move fast enough to create a safe environment for people to get back to work and some sense of normalcy, and then there are other days when I am amazed at how rapidly things have changed and find some hope that we can turn things around before it’s too late.

Civil Liberties or Inconveniences?

So, we are all trying to manage day to day and week to week, refocusing our lives on what is truly important to each of us, as we wait for what comes next.  And some people are doing a better job than others of being patient.  In my most recent post, I wondered if a more restrictive environment (masks, testing, temperature checks, technology based tracing?) might be too jarring for people in our country to adapt to and even theorized people might feel that their “civil liberties” were being violated.  This would be a good time to remind you that I do not identify with either political party or either extreme end of the media outlets.  When it comes to an important issue, I aim to learn the facts as best I can and make up my own mind.  Unfortunately, I have also become more skeptical of most stories, asking myself if there might be an agenda behind the author that I should consider.

The last week has seen an acceleration in the discussions of “reopening” states or regions.  As I mentioned in my last post, I am very concerned about the economic impact on so many people in such a short period of time.  And the longer this goes, the more the financial impact will create more health (both physical and mental) issues for millions of people.  So, I have some real sympathy for people who are worried about how they will support their families if they cannot open their business or go back to work.  Those are real problems we need to solve, as quickly and as prudently as we can.  We are facing both a health emergency and a financial emergency.  Solving both is a very difficult problem that requires thoughtful consideration of all facts and situations, not what may or may not be “popular.”

I purposely put the words “civil liberties” in quotes two weeks ago because I fully expected what we have seen the last week (admittedly earlier than I worried we would see it).  We have seen people arguing that their civil liberties are being violated because they are being asked to stay home, practice social distancing, or wear masks when they are in crowded locations (like a grocery store).  Unfortunately, I saw this coming from a mile away given the significant divide we have in this country, which has grown over the last decade.  If a state of public emergency has been declared in each state and by the entire country, is it too much for people to be willing to tolerate a little inconvenience in their lives for the common good?  Do we really need a lawsuit against a governor for imposing a mask requirement in public because it “infringes on people’s individual freedoms and liberties”?  Or a sheriff refusing to enforce a Governor’s stay at home order because “state law does not have the power to supersede or suspend the Constitutional rights of American citizens”?  Are you thinking that these examples must be in the deep South?  Nope – the first example is in Connecticut and the second is in Wisconsin. 

Unfortunately, we have pockets of dissent across the country and we need to find common ground quickly before things escalate to a point of no return.  That being said, I do believe that these are only pockets of dissent and not widespread.  Recent polling data I have seen shows that the vast majority of people (70% – 80%) feel that we are doing the right thing in maintaining social distancing and limiting crowds.  (See the recent Kaiser Family Foundation survey for more details.)  Despite my inherent cynicism, I still hold out hope that common sense will prevail and people will do the right thing at the end of the day.  As always, don’t let the loud minority that makes for good ratings and clicks get you down.

A Slippery Slope?

Since I used “civil liberties” in quotes, I should probably clarify that I certainly don’t think we should throw out the Constitution, but we have to let the leadership of these states do what’s in the best interest of all of their constituents.  We have been fortunate in Connecticut that our governor is being transparent in everything that he has decided, with daily briefings that include subject matter experts where needed.  I haven’t agreed with everything he has decided, or the speed at which some things are moving, but at least he is communicating to people in a productive way, and he is demonstrating empathy for those who have become sick and for those who are impacted economically and socially. 

The argument against granting the flexibility to government officials is that it will create a slippery slope where we will soon be living in a police state.  As I was contemplating this question, I recalled an anecdote from All the President’s Men.  One of the Washington Post editors was recounting how they were constantly wondering how far the story would go and if they were falling further into dangerous territory as the reporters saw how high the Watergate scandal went within the Nixon administration.  It’s often forgotten that the details of what really happened unfolded over roughly 18 months.  It was over two years between the break-in and Nixon’s resignation.  The editor said it was like being in a tub where the water was getting hotter and hotter until it burns you, but because it is gradual, you don’t really notice.  Despite our inclination to declare something the biggest, best, or worst of what we’ve ever seen due to recency bias, this really is literally the biggest health and financial crisis in 100 years.  But, we’re living in the middle of the crisis now, and It’s hard to evaluate it in the moment – that will only come with perspective after we’ve been through the worst of it.

Is the slippery slope something to worry about?  Maybe at some point, but certainly not now.  But it’s something to keep any eye on week to week.  I know that I have been struggling to balance examples where you see government officials encouraging citizens to report their neighbors for violating social distancing guidelines, yet at the same time, there is lobbying for releasing inmates from prisons.  I recently saw an example of a mother getting arrested for being in a park with her children.  Who’s more at fault here – the police officers for wasting resources on this “offense” or the mother who ignored the sign that the park was closed, practically begged the officers to arrest her to prove a point, all while reminding her friend to keep recording the incident on her phone?  Maybe we need a national day (week? month?) of “Let’s all just use common sense.”

How Did We Get Here?

I have been advocating for empowering the governors to decide what is best for their state and have been happy to see the alignment of governors in a few regions to partner together on how to best emerge from the shutdown.  While this is a great strategy, it has exposed a flaw in leadership in how this was executed.  One lesson I learned in my career was the key to delegation.  You want to empower your team, give them advice, let them make decisions within some guidelines and see how they do.  Will they make mistakes?  Maybe, but that’s ok – that’s part of learning.  But the cardinal sin of delegating is to abandon your team members.  You are always there as a backstop – if they need help, you pull the rope in so they don’t drown.  You don’t say, “You’re on your own – you figure it out.”  Authority comes with responsibility.  As a leader, you delegate tasks, but you don’t delegate responsibility.  We’ve all heard the saying “The buck stops here.”  It’s not a coincidence that I referenced a quote made famous by a former President. 

A big driver of what we are seeing is the level of divide we have in this country.  I recently referenced a Frontline documentary from 2017 that summarized how things eroded from 2008 to 2016.  I just discovered that there is an updated version of this documentary from January of this year called America’s Great Divide.  It’s an informative (albeit sobering at times) lesson of how we got to where we are now, and this was released before the pandemic started, so you can see the seeds of what is playing out each day now.  You can find it on PBS.org

The last point I’ll make is with respect to communication and transparency.  In a recent post, I recommended following Andy Slavitt for insights on all aspects of the pandemic – health, economic, political, and social.  He is the former head of The Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) and just started a podcast called “In the Bubble.”  He deals in unbiased facts, not political rhetoric.  In a recent podcast, he answered a listener’s question about how to know what to believe in the media.  He said that if the person you are listening to doesn’t acknowledge that there are things we don’t know right now, then they are probably not reliable.  It made me think of another cardinal sin that I saw in leadership – we called it “Arrogance with Ignorance.”  As a leader, you have to be humble, be willing to learn from your team and others, and acknowledge that sometimes you don’t know the answer, but are working to figure it out.  You can’t wing it behind a podium because you don’t want to show any vulnerability.  I’ve mentioned before that I have admired how Governor Andrew Cuomo has been leading New York through this crisis.  At his recent press conference, he talked about how national emergencies and crises can bring out extreme behaviors in people.  You see the strength from people who can rise to the occasion, but you also see the weakness in people who are in over their heads.  It brings out the beauty of those who are willing to put their own interests aside to help others, but it also brings out the ugliness of those who are only looking out for themselves.  I will continue to remind myself to look to the true leaders and for the beauty in those who are doing the right things, and ignore the noise. 

This Week’s Moments of Happiness

I was fortunate these last few weeks to reconnect with some friends that I used to work with on a Zoom video call.  Although we have stayed connected via text messages, it was so fun to see everyone’s faces, reflect on some fun times, and share a lot of laughs.  Almost everyone is doing something different since we all stopped working together over the last year, and we all got caught up on what is happening in all of our lives.  It was tough to hear some of them talk about how they are struggling with the current environment, whether it was work stress or dealing with the challenge of balancing everything in their lives.  But I’d like to think that our “therapy session” helped give everyone a diversion from their day to day worries and some laughs to get them through another day.  I am already looking forward to the next call.

My next moment of happiness was when after 22 years of marriage, my wife and I experienced something new – yes, she gave me a haircut.  She did a wonderful job (unlike Brooks Koepka’s girlfriend did with his – yikes!) and her hysterical sense of humor gave me a quite a laugh during this exchange – Me: “Don’t worry if it’s too short or you mess up.  I’m not going anywhere and if I do, I can wear a hat.”  Her:  “Yeah, but I have to look at you every day.”  It was a reminder of how blessed I am to have her in my life – despite the stress of the last several weeks, we have always been there for each other to make each other laugh or lift the other one up when they are feeling down.

My last moment of happiness came this morning when I saw a video of a number of musicians playing an acoustic version of Times Like These by Foo Fighters.  It was organized by the BBC and recorded to raise funds for those impacted by the pandemic.  I learned a few years ago that this song was written by the band when they were on the verge of breaking up, so it has special meaning to the band members.  I only recognized a few of the musicians (including Chris Martin of Coldplay and Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters), but it was a beautiful version of a song that has some timely lyrics in the chorus:

It’s times like these, you learn to live again
It’s times like these, you give and give again
It’s times like these, you learn to love again
It’s times like these, time and time again

That’s all for this week – thanks again for reading and I’ll be back soon. If you’d like to subscribe to be notified of future posts, you can do that here.

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